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Feeling overwhelmed by all the parenting advice out there? Click through to read the one thing that all good parents have in common. Tried and tested by a mother of three adult children.
It’s not always easy!
It’s not always easy this parenting thing is it? We want to be a great parent, but finding our way there can be hard. Where is the magic formula we could apply to the process? We parents need something that would guarantee the right results.
But that is not the case.
There may be a few, generalized principals we can follow, but EVERY child is different. And so every child will benefit from a slightly DIFFERENT parenting approach.
There is a lot of parenting information out there. In some ways that is a blessing. If I want to find out more about a certain parenting issue I can turn to Google, tap in my questions, and instantly get a million and one answers.
And that is the downside. The amount of information is overwhelming. And to make matters worse many of the answers seem to contradict each other.
The lure of other parent’s methods
I have seen a number of posts lately that hold out the promise of simple solutions to common parenting challenges. They have hopeful titles such as
- Teach your child not to (insert negative behavior) in just one week.
- Teach your child not to (insert negative behavior) in one easy step.
All you have to do is follow the steps set out and the problem will be gone. MAGIC!
If only it were that easy!
I understand why bloggers are using these kinds of titles. They follow one of the most popular blog headline formulas – how to do something better in a desirable time frame. BUT they leave me feeling uneasy.
There is no “one size fits all” approach to raising children
At best you will get some tips about an approach that worked for one child, or one family. It doesn’t necessarily mean it will work with your children. It might, but there again it might not. And that does not mean you are a bad parent.
Good parents have figured out one important truth
Parenting is NOT about applying formulas. It is not about championing one particular parenting style.
Parenting is about fostering healthy relationships and making deep connections. If we want to be good parents we have to get to know our children and then figure out what is helpful and what is not.
It is challenging, because we start from scratch with every child. You will parent every child differently, because every child is different.
It still amazes me how different my three boys are. All three came from the same genetic pool. And were raised in the same home. Yet they are all unique and they all needed different kinds of parenting.
And sometimes it took me a while to figure out what approach was best. This was particularly true of one of my youngest who was so different to me.
But that DID NOT make me a bad mother. I was simply learning how to adapt my parenting style to my child’s special combination of personality and temperament.
Just like you.
- So don’t worry about how others are parenting.
- Don’t worry what the so-called experts tell you to do.
- Do what works for your family.
Four promises I can make
In some ways I have the advantage here. My boys are now young adults. They are making their way in the world. I am standing on the other side of this parenting gig and looking back. I can promise you four things
- You will get through this with your sanity intact, although it may be sorely tested from time to time.
- It will be the most challenging thing you have ever had to do, but also the most rewarding.
- The combination of unconditional love combined with a healthy sense of humour has the power to work miracles.
- You have within you all the wisdom and strength you need for this journey.
You are already good parents. Remember that you are the expert on your children and will figure out the best approach for each of them. It may take some time, but that’s okay. Listen to your heart and go from there.
How is your parenting journey is going. What are your joys? What are your challenges?