Rediscovered Families : Parenting from The heart

I can help you make the most of the time you spend with your kids

some resources to help you on your parenting journey

Activities to do with kids

Parenting

Library

Shop

My New Posts

- The Effects of Technology On Your Child’s Brain (and how to set limits)January 1, 2019Have you ever wondered how screens truly impact your child? I went looking for answers in recent scientific studies. Click through to read what I discovered about the effects of technology on our children’s brains and learn how to find a healthy balance (includes free info sheet and helpful tools). I have a confession. I’m not going to make it easy for you. This could be a hard post to read. It sure as heck was a difficult one to write. I’ve procrastinated for months. But here’s the thing. I simply can’t stay quiet any longer. It all started when I read Hey Internet- Let’s Have An Honest Talk About Screens This Summer by Kristen Welch This powerful post touches on the sorrow of screen addiction in children, the need to regulate screen use, and the struggle for families to find a balance. It is well worth the read! And it got me wondering What are the effects of technology on our kids? I looked at some of the studies and research. What did I find? Technology has a HUGE impact on the brain, health, sleep rhythms, family life and child development (more about that later). But one discovery sounded alarm bells for me. In a nutshell scientists found that dopamine levels in the brain are doubled during game play. In another study, researchers at Stanford University performed brain scans on subjects playing a simple video game. There were many areas of the brain activated, but researchers were particular interested to see how the “the neural circuitries involved in reward and addiction” were activated. This happened in both men and women, but it was significantly stronger in men. You can read the study here. What Dopamine does to our kid’s brains Before we go on I just want to provide a little bit of background information to help you understand the significance of this. Dopamine is a chemical that activates the reward centre of the brain. As our dopamine levels increase we experience pleasure. It is basically nature’s way of reinforcing behaviour that is necessary for survival. So simple things like eating will increase dopamine levels. The almost irresistible pull of the screens This hit of dopamine is the reason your kids love playing with technology and hate turning off their screens. Playing with games feels really good. Is it any wonder that we have such a hard time finding a balance? Scientists are beginning to suspect it isn’t just gaming that does this, but all interactive screen use. I’ve seen this in action When I find myself mindlessly scrolling through my social media feed far longer than I should. Every time I reach for my device even though I only put it down 15 minutes ago. Sound familiar? When I witness parents so engrossed by their phones that they don’t hear their kids desperately calling out for help. The summer I saw a young tween so entranced by his computer game that he didn’t bother to eat all day. When does this become a problem? Anything that causes the brain to produce a hit of dopamine has the potential to become addictive. In short playing games stimulates the brain the same way that taking cocaine, drinking alcohol or gambling does. I do need to point out that things like cocaine produce much higher hots of dopamine, but the response is the same. Once the brain becomes dependent on that dopamine you are on the road to addiction. To read more about addiction, and how it develops, take a look at this article. How many people are getting addicted? The good news is that the numbers are low at the moment. One study published in 2015 concluded that 1.4% of video gamers are addicted and 7.3% were problem gamers. The subjects were aged between 16 and 74 and were randomly selected from the National Population Registry of Norway. Males were almost 3 times as likely to be addicted. Subjects in the youngest age group were 3 times more likely to belong to the addicted group and 4 times more likely to be in the problem gamers group. The level of education did not seem to have an impact. The study looked at many different factors and is a fascinating read. The risk of addiction seems to be low enough that we don’t need to throw out technology screens completely. Still addiction is occurring in increasing numbers, so we have a responsibility to set limits for everyone, particularly for boys. Why would we continue giving our kids unlimited access to something that has the potential to harm, even if the risk is low? In this short video clip Simon Sinik talks about the effects of technology on the teen brain and how it can impact their life as an adult. What he has to say is very sobering. The struggle is real I’ll be the first one to say that I LOVE technology. My computer allows me to stay in contact with my family in so many wonderful ways. I love that I have easy access to millions of facts, recipes, movies, and craft ideas . I can even earn a part time income. But there is a darker side isn’t there? And scientists are only just starting to realize how all this technology is impacting our mental and physical health. And families like yours and mine are struggling for balance. This is not going away you guys. If anything the pressure is probably going to increase. We are exposed to new technology, apps, and social media everyday. And we are just starting to discover the effects of technology on our children (and us). It is going to take some brave parenting to resist this pressure. It is going to take some brave steps to break our screen habits. What can we do? Read more about the effects of technology. I’ve got a helpful information sheet to offer below. Take a good look at the way you use screens in your family. Decide if you need to make adjustments. You can find a tool to help you do that here. Download the information sheet Here’s a sneak preview Ok take a deep breath folks! Now it gets real Lead the way and model proper screen use. Don’t let the TV run in the background all day. Put your phone down when you are with your family, and set up device free times and zones in your house. Consider having a screen free day (AGHHHHH!) Schedule regular recreational screen use for a limited amount of time. This way your kids will know what to expect. Experts recommend no more than one to two hours per day and even less for the little ones. Here’s a super helpful device that will make this regulation easier. Every family has to figure out their own schedules and limits. There is no right or wrong way. You need to find out what works best for you. Obviously helping children learn to self-regulate would be ideal, but the addictive pull of the screens is going to be very hard for young brains to resist. This is probably one of those instances when we have to step in to regulate our kids until they have the maturity to do it for themselves. Shut off all screens one to two hours before bedtime to allow kids (and grown-ups) to unwind and allow the natural production of melatonin (the sleep hormone) in the brain, so they can sleep. It’s not all bad news! All this information about the effect of technology can be very alarming. The idea of setting limits and (even worse) having to enforce them can be exhausting. Facing our own dependence on technology can be scary. Still I have some good news! When the screens go off the magic begins At first your kids may complain bitterly that they are bored and you may find yourself restless and irritable. This is to be expected. Remember this is part and parcel of withdrawal. We are not getting that Dopamine hit and everything else will seem dull in comparison. Fortunately it doesn’t last long (unless you have crossed over into true addiction). It won’t be long before your kids begin to engage in free play and find lots of creative things to do and that has all kinds of benefits. You’ll suddenly find you have time for all kinds of family fun, discover the joy of play, and maybe engage in some acts of kindness. Not sure about this? Read Unplugged: Why We Quit All Screens to see the goodness that happens when the screens go off. One last word I understand if you are struggling with this. I am struggling too. Even though I do not have children at home any more I recognize that I need to stop mindlessly using my computer. And it is hard. I know that it is not easy to set up controls and regulate our children’s screen use, because they won’t thank us for it. But we can be brave together. As parents we work hard to keep our kids away from other addictive substances. Now we need to start protecting them from the harmful effects of technology. Because that’s our job. Want More? Check out my Screen Free Resources Pinterest Board. Screen Free Resources Did you enjoy this post? Was it helpful? Please share and tell a friend! If you want to save the post for later pin the image below....
- Play Activity Cards To Help You Spend time With FamilyDecember 23, 2018You want to spend time with family, but feel like you can’t squeeze one more thing into your busy life? How can you make the most of the precious moments you have with your kids each day? This is the solution. My boys are adults now, but I remember their childhood like it was yesterday. Many memories bring a smile to my face. I’m talking about those golden days when everything ran smoothly. I managed to cook something that everyone wanted to eat (a miracle). The boys stopped played without bickering and I found time to connect meaningfully with each child. There is nothing like those moments of connection with your kids. I’m talking about those wonderful moments when my kids and I were together playing, snuggling, or giggling hysterically over smelly socks. For a brief instant in time we were totally in-sync with each other and it was incredible. Some days were golden. But here’s the difficult truth Those golden days didn’t happen often enough. I was a stay at home mom, so in theory I had all the time in the world to connect with my kids. But I quickly realized that despite spending all day, everyday, with my boys we weren’t getting a lot of actual connection. Too often it seemed as if my days were one round of changing diapers, dispensing food, and scraping off dried cereal that was super glued onto the floor. I’d fall into bed exhausted and wake up the next day to do it all again! Those days were not golden at all. In fact they were more like a dismal grey and everyone was out of sorts. My boys whined, pouted, and generally acted out. Fortunately I recognized these as warning signs. They were craving (and desperately needed) some quality time with me. Related: 21 Brilliant Ways To Connect With Your Kids Right Now Is this a struggle for you too? Do you feel as if you simply don’t have enough hours in the day to spend time with your family? You’re not alone. I get emails from parents all asking the same thing: how can I spend time with family on top of everything else I have to do? We juggle jobs, run the household, and ferry kids to school, appointments and activities. We know we need to spend time with family. After all it is The BEST way we have to show them we care That childhood will pass by in the blink of an eye That these are the good old days for our kids Time seems to slip through our fingers as we find ourselves at the end of another week- month- year. This song from Mama Mia sums it up perfectly Is there a way to stop that time slipping through our fingers? We can’t stop the hours flying by, but we can make the most of the precious time we have with our kids. A discovery that saved my sanity I slowly realized that I couldn’t do everything at once. So I leaned to take breaks during my day to spend time with family. I would get my fill of smiles, giggles and hugs! And more importantly so did they. Family life suddenly became a lot less chaotic. And what amazed me was that it didn’t take a lot of time to make that connection! We’re talking about 15 minutes each day. Interestingly enough a recent study confirmed that’s all it takes. Of course you will want to continue creating those simple moments of connection throughout the day, but this 15 minutes of one on one time is super important. I quickly discovered that playing was a super easy way to spend time with my kids, so I got into the habit of setting aside a minimum of 15 minutes each day to play with my boys. It became a daily ritual. The trouble is when you’re in the midst of dealing with all the grown up stuff, it’s hard to change direction and come up with something fun to do with your kids. Especially when I suddenly found myself with 15 precious minutes in the midst of the craziness that is family life. My poor mom brain was totally frazzled most days and I needed to find some inspiration. A simple fix that helped me spend time with family I decided I needed to get organized, so I sat down one evening and made a list of easy play activities that were ready to go at a moment’s notice. When it came time to play, I picked something from the list and we did it together. Spending quality time with my kids suddenly became a whole lot easier. Did it work? Heck yes! What’s surprised me was how easy it was to find time to play when I had a list of activities already to go. But the best part came after we finished playing Our family life became a lot less chaotic My boys became a lot more co-operative and content. I felt that mama patience and satisfaction begin to bubble up again. After all there is nothing like feeling you are doing well at this parenting thing. And when I got to the end of the day, I no longer felt that I needed a do over. Instead, I had the memories of sweet connections with my boys and so did they. Something to help you I’m sure your day is full and your to-do list is never ending. But I also know this. Being a better parent starts with giving our kids just 15 minutes of our undivided attention each day. You’ll find that spending time with family works wonders. It’s as simple as that! To help you I’ve created a set of printable play activity cards. I used the play activities from my original list and then went onto Pinterest and looked at every list of simple play activities that I could find. These were my criteria They had to be fun for parents as well as for the children. Kids will take their cue from the adults around them. If the grown ups are bored with something, chances are the kids will be too. Besides who wants to be stuck with activities that makes you feel like plucking your eyeball out with a rusty spoon. They had to be super simple to set up and use stuff that most families have around the house. When you have time to play you want to get going. You don’t want to spend 2 hours getting stuff ready. They needed to be short and sweet. We are only talking about 15 minute playtimes here, so we don’t want anything too involved. I waded through pages and pages of play activities to find activities that fit this criteria. If I wasn’t sure about something I tried it with the kids at the library. The final list includes 36 kid approved play activities. So that basically gives you enough activities for a month. Get your own set of these play activity cards here. Here’s how it works: Download these printable cards. Print and laminate them if you wish. Cut them apart. Put them in a handy container a bag, bowl, jar, box, or basket. When you are ready to play just grab the container and invite your kids to pull a card. Do what it says. EASY PEASY. If you pull a card with an activity that doesn’t appeal put it back and grab another one instead. The play activity police will NOT show up at your door I promise. If your cards get worn out simply print another set. Just use what you have around the house as a storage container A few more details This set of cards includes 36 play activities. I’ve also included a sheet of blank cards, so you can add your own activities. All of these activities have been kid tested. I know they work and I know that kids enjoy them. More importantly the activities do not require any preparation or special materials, so you can get going in a moments notice. Download: Your Own Set of Play Activity Cards That Will Give You Quality Time With Kids Before I finish: 4 tips to help you implement this daily ritual Reserve 15 minutes every single day to play with your kids with your kids. You will find it easier if you aim for the same time each day, as it will then become a habit. If you have changeable schedules then make a point of picking a time at the start of each day. During those 15 minutes, make sure your focus is on your child. Turn off all screens, particularly the TV and your phone. After you download the cards, take a look through them. That way you know what may come up on any given day. If any of the activities make you shudder, toss the card. Ask your kids what kinds of things they enjoy doing and then fill in some of the blank cards. You could also make some cards that read “(child’s name) choice.” Related: Looking for some free play activities? Try my FREE 7 day Play challenge. Just a few minutes each day All it takes are a few minutes of attention to make an intentional impact on your family, but it’s absolutely essential that we do spend time with our kids. It is really important for them as they need that sense of belonging and security. If they don’t get it from us they will go elsewhere to find it. Usually in the unhealthiest of places. Playing is such an easy way to spend time with your kids. Why not take advantage of it? Want more simple play ideas? Check out my Simple Fun Pinterest board Your turn What are your favorite play activities? Leave a comment and inspire me!...

I can help you make the most of the time you spend with your kids

some resources to help you on your parenting journey

Connect With Me