Rediscovered Families

3 Steps to Banish Mom Guilt Once And For All

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Tired of battling Mom guilt? Here are 3 simple steps to help you stop feeling guilty and reclaim the joy of parenting. Let’s banish Mom guilt once and for all.

I’m going to be honest with you. Oftentimes I looked at other moms and wished I could be more like them.

You know those moms who calmly wait while their toddler examines every last stone? Well that wasn’t me!

Or that mom who had the squeaky clean house and immaculately dressed kids. I wasn’t like her either.

Becoming a parent is amazing. It is also one of the hardest things I have ever done.  How I wish I had done things differently. I should have done better

  • I wish I had been more patient
  • Why didn’t I spend more time with my children?
  • I should’ve been more present
  • I ought to have given more hugs

The curse of mother guilt

Mother guilt is wretched. It reared its ugly head almost the instant I found out I was pregnant with my oldest  and has been a constant companion since.

My boys grew into fine adults, but I still feel guilty about the way I raised them. I can list all the things I did badly and explain in detail how and where  I failed. I don’t know if Dads suffer from the same affliction, but we Moms tend to be really hard on ourselves.

In a recent poll, 94 percent of moms admitted to feeling mom guilt.

That is a HUGE percentage.

All those moms feeling guilty.

Right?

pin-banish-mom-guilt“color: #9d2700;”>Let’s banish mother guilt once and for all

Yesterday I saw this short video on Facebook. Women were invited to come in and described themselves as mothers. These women talked about their struggles, wished they could be better mothers, and expressed doubts about their abilities. Boy did I ever relate!

A few days later the mothers came back in to watch videos of their children talking about them. Take a moment and watch the video.

A New Perspective For Moms.

Did you cry?

Yeah me too!

Watching those Moms respond to their children’s comments touched something deep down inside of me.

Did you hear what the children said?

They knew how much their moms loved them.

Every child noticed all the things their moms did for them.

These kids looked right PAST the imperfections and talked about all the GREAT stuff their moms did.

All of them recognized their mom’s love.

Let us learn from the kids

Perhaps we can learn from this. Maybe we need to start looking at ourselves through our children’s eyes. Let’s  focus on all the great things we do for our kids.

Let’s kick that mother guilt to the curb and recognize that we are already doing a great job.

Are you with me?

Three simple steps to banish Mom guilt?

  1. Focus on the great things you do for your kids. Name some of the seeds of love you planted in the last few days. (Say them out loud!)
  2. Acknowledge that you are not perfect.
  3. Affirm that your kids love you for who you are and that means you are ENOUGH. (Say it out loud.

Now go do something fun with your kids

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17 thoughts on “3 Steps to Banish Mom Guilt Once And For All”

  1. Yes Sharon you made me cry first thing this morning. Lol. I know that I wasn’t a perfect mom either but I will remind myself that I am and will continue to be a great mom in the eyes of my children. I do know they know how much I love them, just as I know how much I am loved by my mom (and dad). I am so grateful that God has blessed me with 3 kids (and a husband) to walk my life’s journey with. God’s blessings to you and all Moms!

    1. Bev I’m so glad you dropped by! The first time I watched that video I cried too. Actually I have watched it several times and it still tears me up! You are a fantastic mom! Sending blessings back to you <3

  2. What a beautiful post. Am a little bit teary after watching this. I know we ALL worry about how we are doing but it is nice to see that maybe we are doing ok? Thanks so much for linking to the Pin It Party 🙂

  3. Why is it we find it so much easier to be kind to others than to ourselves as mothers? Thank you for this piece challenging all of us to be more content with the effort that we are putting forth. Thanks for sharing at Magic Moments!

    1. I wish I knew why we are so hard on ourselves as mothers. It is something that has been documented by shame researcher Brene Brown. I wonder where it comes from?

  4. We really do need to focus on recognizing our efforts in motherhood. Less attaching “good mom” and “bad mom”. I do think feeling a little guilt as a mom is the sign of a truly good mom-we only feel the failures because we want to be a success. As a former teacher I felt it when I was not reaching a student, or having a misunderstanding with a parent. A sign of success is constantly wanting to improve-there is nothing wrong with that. Your post is wonderful to think on-for all moms. Thank you!

    1. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response Jaimi. Those “good mom” and Bad mom” labels really do get in the way don’t they? I need to think that through some more. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to improve, but I also think it is good to be able to say, “I am enough.” I’m still working on that one 🙂

  5. Did I cry watching the video? I don’t know, I didn’t even get that far yet and I’m already teary eyed! Boy does this hit home. Thanks for sharing, we all need to be less hard on ourselves. If you plan to share this in linkups, I think it would be perfect for magic moments mondays, but it is lovely either way! Thanks again!

    1. Thanks for dropping by Laura. I did share at Magic Moments Monday- thanks for hosting it’s a great way to share.

  6. Eva @ The Multitasking Mummy

    I saw that video and I cried too but gosh it put things into perspective. My journey as a Mum has been tough too but I’ve slowly learned not to put so much pressure on myself.

  7. Thanks for this post and for linking up with us on the Hip Homeschool Hop! It is so true that we moms are often way too hard on ourselves. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, stop worrying about every little thing, and just enjoy our children! I know it’s easier said than done, and I appreciate your reminder. 🙂

    1. I think that simply remembering to enjoy our children is the best thing we can do! Everyone benefits!

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