Rediscovered Families

Build Family Connection – Give The Gift of Time

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Invitations to connect

When I look back on my boys childhood I see how often I was invited to give the gift of time. there are so many memories.

I remember my son’s first day at High School. He came home and excitedly showed me the journal that had been given to him. It had all kinds of features that thrilled him. I marveled at his excitement and gave thanks for his love of learning that would stand him in good stead. I am so glad I took the time to listen.

I remember the day my boys asked me to play Nintendo. I tried, I really tried. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, but they patiently instructed me and we all laughed at my efforts. Years later they still laugh about it.

I remember when my son asked for help in putting together a large puzzle. It didn’t have any straight edges, so it was challenging and we worked on it after supper each evening for a week.

In every instance my boys invited me into connection. They wanted to spend time with me. I am so glad that I accepted their invitations. They wanted to share their world with me. What a gift.

Your children want to connect with you 

The invitations will come in various forms.

  • I want a story
  • Can we play (insert name of game)?
  • Will you play with me?
  • Can you help me with my Lego?
  • Giving you a blow by blow description of the book they are reading
  • Telling you about the things that excite them
  • Ranting about the things that really upset them

So whether you are invited to help put together a Lego model, make a fort in the bush, dress up and have a tea party, or listen attentively as they tell you about their favorite book in excruciating detail- the wonderful truth is that your children actually want to be with you.  Every-Single-Day.

  • Your children need you to spend time with them.
  • Your children want you to be a part of their world.
  • Your children long to build deep connections with you.

It isn’t always easy, but there will come a time when the chance to spend unlimited time with your children slips from your grasp. Give the gift of time to your children now, because they will quickly reach a stage when they may prefer to be with friends. Then before you know it they will move out to take their place in the world. If you want to be a part of your children’s world as they grow into adolescence and adulthood, you need to be a part of their world today.

Even when it’s hard.

Even when it’s boring.

Give the Gift of Time Anyway

So if the thought of attending yet another tea party is enough to put you to sleep, or you think you simply cannot read that inane Amelia Bedelia book one more time. Even if you secretly HATE board games (that would be me), or you would really rather not listen to a blow-by-blow account of the rules of Quidditch.

Do it anyway. Do it for your child.

Send the message that you want to spend time with them. Show them that they are really important in your eyes.

Give the gift of time.  Every. Single. Day.

Now it’s your turn

When was the last time you responded to your child’s invitation to spend time with him or her? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below. If you realize it’s been a while, don’t be too hard on yourself, simply listen for the next invitation and accept it gladly. Do it before your children get tired of asking you and turn to someone else.Want to Read More?

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23 thoughts on “Build Family Connection – Give The Gift of Time”

  1. Probably one of the biggest deficiencies I saw as an educator was the loss of time spent between parents and their children. Yet so easy to correct, and such a loss when it’s not.

  2. What a wonderful post! I am always conscious of saying yes when my children ask for the gift of time. If I am unable to, I make sure to give a specific reason why I can’t or when I can “I’m making dinner. After I feed the dogs.” Then make sure I follow through! Thanks for the reminder.

    1. Thanks for commenting Katie. Sounds like you are doing a great job of accepting those invitations 🙂

  3. Thank you for the wonderful reminder, “The days are long but the years are short.” It’s good to remember they’re only small for such a short time and we need to savor those moments while they’re here.

  4. So true. I need to accept their invitations more than I do. Thanks for the reminder.
    Thanks for linking #LetKidsBeKids

  5. Beautiful post. A good reminder to step back from the busy of life and time to be there when they ask. Something I need to do more of.

    Hello from #teamIBOT

  6. Eva @ The Multitasking Mummy

    I try really hard to accept my sons invitation every time. I’m a stay at home mum, so really there’s nothing else that’s more important unless there’s something about to boil over on the stove!

    1. You are so right Eva, there really is nothing more important… P.S my pots boil over regularly!

  7. I love this post! I get the biggest smile on my face with my little guy tells me to “seeeit!” and play with him, or comes to give me hugs and just sits on my lap for a while. There’s no grater feeling than spending time with your child. Thanks so much for linking up at the MaMade Blog Hop! Don’t forget to stop back again next week to link up and see if you were featured! Have a great weekend 🙂

  8. And if they go a while without asking — and they do, after I say “Sorry, I have a deadline” two or three times — then it’s up to us to ask. I can feel it. We get busy and drift a bit; I stop, take one to the book store, play monopoly (which I do despise with every fiber of my being; I’m not aggressive enough to strategize, ug) or soak our feet. Then we are back on track. They start asking again, and I say yes whenever I can. At 10 and 7 I can feel the time slipping away… thanks for this opportunity to reflect! xx Angela

    1. Thank you Angela. I totally agree with you and it’s so easy to get too busy. Thank goodness it’s just as easy to get back on track….. I so understand your feelings about Monopoly *shudders,* still I’d play if my children asked.

  9. 10 minutes is all they ask most of the time then they happy. My 3 year old “Mommy jump on the trampouline with me” A 1 year old being content with her own company quite often makes me feel I’m not having enough one on one playtime with her as I had with the oldest cause I get so occupied with other chores and constant toddler needs around the house.

    1. Thanks for your comment Muchelle. I completely agree that often the invitation to play is just for a very short time.If we can just take that few minutes. I understand how challenging it can be find time to connect with more than one child. I found that with my youngest, still we always found time to read a story together each day. That really helped.

  10. Today he invited me to ride his car. He told me sit! And i did and he was laughing so loud! I have recorded that laugh in my mind to play it when i am old!

    1. “I have recorded that laugh in my mind to play it when I’m old” how beautifully put. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  11. This post really spoke to me. I have really been trying to play and spend more time with my boys. I am often guilty of not stopping my agenda to spend time with them, so I very much appreciated this reminder. I will be featuring it this week on Makeovers & Motherhood’s Welcome Party Wednesday Link-Up! Thanks so much for sharing!

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