Rediscovered Families

Choosing to Connect: Emma

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#1 Emma

This is a post in the series Choosing to Connect, true life stories from my readers in their own words. If you would like to participate click here for details.

This week we have a lovely story from Emma.

“Mommy, wanna play dollhouse?” Or princess or superheroes? Ugh. Again. There are only so many times an adult human can play pretend in a given time. And there’s things to do – washing the dishes, folding the clothes, tidying up. And so much I’d rather do – read, go on the computer, almost anything but play pretend yet again.

 “Not right now…” I start to say. But then I stop and take a step back. My daughter is 4 years old and wants to play with me. I remember wanted to play with my parents but them being too busy. It wasn’t about the game or the toy; it was just about spending time with them. And the times I did spend with them stand out in my memory boldly. They didn’t need to do anything special.

 I think that’s one of the reasons I don’t like playing pretend with my daughter. I feel like I have to “entertain” her, put on a show, make her laugh. And that’s just exhausting. I need to remember that I don’t. Simply being there is enough.

 She will be 5 years old in a few months, starting kindergarten next fall. We aren’t going to have this time forever. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way before. My sister is 12 years younger than me, and I just adored her. When I was a teenager, and she was a toddler, I had so many things I wanted to do with her, but I would get wrapped up in being a teenager and tell myself, “We’ll do it tomorrow…next week..next month…” And then one day you look up and she’s not a little kid following you around any more. She grew up, as children seem to do, and I missed out on a lot of just ‘being there’ that I wish I’d been there for.

“Okay, what are we playing today?” I ask, putting down whatever I was doing and embracing the play. Today, dollhouse (or princess or superheroes).  I will have plenty of time for the other stuff later.

Read more from Emma at P is for Preschooler and catch up with her on Facebook.

18 thoughts on “Choosing to Connect: Emma”

  1. This is a good reminder. When people come visit and my house and it is a mess I say I had the option to clean or play with my kids and have fun. I chose the later. Some people get it and others do not. Either way I don’t care. We are having a good time. It will be clean before they go to bed.

  2. I absolutely loved this. It is so important to take the time to be present in our children’s lives. Does it really matter that the house doesn’t have everything in its place when we are spending such quality time with our children? That time is so important and flies by far too quickly. Great post! Visiting from VoiceBoks Members to Remember.

    1. I don’t know anyone who has said, “I wish I had cleaned my house more!!” I have heard many parents wishing they had spent more time with their kids though. In the end it is the time we spend with our children that means most to them.

  3. It’s as if I have written this! Except they would’ve been boys.
    Your right, its about quality time and great reminder to remind yourself how you were as a kid. Time flies and they wont stay little for so long.
    Well said!

    1. She certainly will. Most children simply want to spend time with their parents. It is such a simple thing, but so important.

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  5. Thanks, you make a good point about the fact you don’t have to make them laugh or whatever, just be there. Made me realise I do feel I have to perform. You reminded me I don’t. My presence is enough. Wow.

  6. I love this new series…may contribute myself! Thanks Emma for sharing your thoughts. These days really do go by so fast! I’m featuring this on this week’s Sunday Parenting Party. Thank you so much for linking up. I look forward to reading more from this series.

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